"Self-Destruction" Pt 4 of 4:
Jesus cried out in the Garden of Gethsemane, "Father, not my will, but thine be done." Do you recall that prayer? Jesus knew what was ahead of Him. He knew he'd done nothing to deserve what was sure to take place. Totally innocent and without anyone coming to His defense, He was found guilty and sentenced to death on a cross. Before getting to the cross, He was mocked, spat in the face, and flogged. Many of you will recall this statement as He hung on the cross, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." After hanging on the cross for six hours, Jesus died for you and me and everything we've ever done wrong.
Forgiveness is a big deal to God. He knows we were born with a depraved heart, were bound to sin, yet is always prepared to forgive us of whatever we've done wrong should we repent. As mentioned yesterday, when we ask for forgiveness, it's called REPENTANCE. When we receive forgiveness from God or anyone else, it's a GIFT. A gift is given out of love, not because someone deserves or has earned it.
Are you being held hostage within your own self because of the physical, mental, or emotional damage caused (or perceived) by another person? Granted, the closer this other person is to us, the pain is always worse. But honestly, with your pent-up animosity, anger, and frustration, who's really hurting - you or them? I'd say, if this is a close relationship, it's both. But when anger and bitterness linger, generally the upset person is one being held hostage.
Having unresolved anger or resentment toward another will eat a person up. Sometimes people will say "There's no way I can forgive them, and you wouldn't either if you knew what they did to me." I'd never question the harm done by someone, but do we ever pause and wonder what's going on within the other person? What if they truly are sorry? What if they want to repent and seek your forgiveness, but you don't allow it? Of course, a normal response is, I've forgiven them before and they hurt me again, how many times do I have to forgive them?
In the words of Jesus, "7 X 70!" Translation, "as many as it takes." You're hurt - I get it. But could you possibly give some thought to the fact that if you don't make an effort to make things right, severe damage could take place in the other person's life? Consider them wanting to ask for your forgiveness, but they are continuously shut down. Could this denial drive them to do potentially harmful things to themselves because they tried, but weren't allowed to make things right?
Gangs grow in number because individuals feel unloved, unwanted, and rejected by family and friends. Everyone wants to be loved, accepted and feel needed. We are prone to seek those who will accept us. We may turn to substances that will hurt us because the pain of coping with the guilt of being rejected is so strong. Of course, offences differ, but whether you are the offended or offender, who's willing to take the high road and do the right thing? What's the right thing?" The Lord says...
"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Ephesians 4:2-3). And "Forgive one another, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32). As followers of Christ, it's "Not my will, but His."
Pastor Carnes
